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Army spouses … what is the recruiter NOT telling my husband?
Question: Army spouses … what is the recruiter NOT telling my husband?
He is 36, a firefighter and a medic. He is frustrated with his job / life and now thinks he should enlist. First, it was reserves, now he is being pushed for active duty by the recruiter. I do not trust the recruiter, it sounds like a load of BS to me.
They claim that wages earned in the Army are tax free, moving costs are paid for, medical insurance is free for the family and he would make ~$ 1050/ month housing allowance to pay our mortgage and ~$ 1450 a month pay. He thinks this is a good deal. They have told him he could be in Phyc. Ops, then something called 61Whiskey (some sort of medevac) and the latest is that he could get a Phy. Asst. degree in two yrs, with a 4 yr. commitment tto active duty! (Masters in civilian world.)
They want him to be driven to MEPS by a recruiter Friday night, test all day Sat. and sign more papers. I think this stinks and I resent not being given a say in this. I think he is being lied to and will be trapped into something he hates. Insight please???
I am not trying to insult or take anything away from those who are serving in our Military. I am just upset because I have two kids, 3 dogs, a house …. and I am facing having to do everything alone while my husband goes off to find himself. I am working on my teaching certification and would like to have us both settled in careers. I have yet to see the honest financial benefit of enlistment. Is it noble … yes. I just think that he is looking at this with rose colored glasses. I do not think it is worth my kids loosing their father to put our lives in the hands of some recruiter trying to meet a quota. I also read that the divorce rate is 78%. Is this really worth doing?
Please only answer if you have first hand knowledge.
Thank you!!
(medevac insurance)
Best answer:
Answer by Jack P
I am a soldier, i too was a firefighter for 5 years, you or him email me soon, im going to bed and will email you back tomorrow afternoon after work, i really want to talk to you or your husband about this. This is a big step and turning point in yalls life, get the view from the inside also.
The pay and medical benifets are true but with a catch, I cant explain everything here.
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#2 written by john s 1 year ago
yes everything is true, but just look for it in the paperwork when he signs on. also you are given free college through tution assitantce (I suck at spelling) and loan repayment if its staford or a federal loan. housing is payed for and benifits are outstanding but the associate degree timeframe is real (if he is not deployed). but try to get a promotion for a better pay rate.
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#3 written by TBs wifey 1 year ago
All of the pay is right. The moving expenses are paid for IF you are PCSing (Permanent Change of Station). The insurance is also true, you can check out military.com or tricare.com and look it up and the pay wages. The amount of BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) is based on the base you’re at, but since it’s not for sure where he’ll be stationed until later, it’s not helpful. In San Diego (Camp Pendleton) right now it’s $ 1400 a month but obviously smaller in smaller places.
I wouldn’t want my husband joining at age 36 though, you guys have kids and the pay is NOT going to be enough to live comfortably as a family. It’s barely enough for me and my husband and we’re not in the lower ranks which he will probably be at for 2 or 3 years. Especially starting out as an E-1 or E-2. You need to tell him that. I think it’s great that he wants to help, but also it’s not worth possibly (and more likely) going into debt really fast. As for the divorce rate, lol, you don’t know much I guess, but a lot of the marriages aren’t real. Some of the guys just have good friends that help them out by getting married so that they get paid more (ghetto, I know)…. therefore when the guy wants to REALLY get married to another girl he meets and falls in love with, he has to divorce the “contract marriage”. See? Others divorce because of either spouse being unfaitful which is HORRIBLE! Also, hearing about all of the divorces in the military (which is a small community) has a way of going to your head and subconsciencely you grow apart because you almost EXPECT it to happen. If you have a strong relationship, you should be fine.You need to tell him though, that the money isn’t going to get any better with all of you to support.
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#4 written by mpwife_99 1 year ago
first, his pay is not tax free unless he is deployed. 2nd he will get BAH (Housing allowance) for the zip code in which you live and his rank, so it will depend on where you live for the amount. The pay 1450.00 should be about right, before taxes for E1 or E2. I think you both need to sit down and discuss this, as you should have as much say in it as he. Are you ready to be supportive of his decision even if you don’t agree with it? Majority of moving costs are paid for, medical is free even with pre-existing conditions, as are some over the counter meds and regular prescriptions. I also would have your husband choose whatever MOS (job in the military) he wants that he can have according to his ASVAB score. He can even go in as a combat medic and go into the PA program that way. I would also tell you as a reservist he will probably be deployed more and longer than if he were active duty. I have been a military spouse for 18 years and while there have been times of struggle, I really have enjoyed being part of the organization and have gotten alot out of it and learned alot about myself. If you have any other questions about being a military spouse you can I’m me on yahoo :)
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#5 written by MJ 1 year ago
I am a vet and military spouse. I served 3yrs in the Army and my hubby is going on his 6th. He’s been deployed 5 times, and has yet to earn his associates degree, he’s been actively going after going on 6yrs. I got out so we both wouldn’t be away from our 2 kids. Recruiters are simple salesman with some basic knowledge. You and your husband must do thorough research before he signs or raises his right hand to anything. Read the fine print….ask questions demand proof, demand incentives and promises be clarified and clearly documented. Compare and entry level ranks such as e-1, -e-3 with Bah against your husband current gross income. combat pay is non taxable. Medical care is excellent. My husband and I have been together for 4yrs and have been separated every year due to his deployments to the war and other missions. It takes a hell of a womanand mother to find her way. It takes major communication and dedication as a couple and a family to progress in times of separation. It take the glory of God to bring our men of honor back home to us.
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#6 written by shrty0525 1 year ago
The base pay (wages) are only tax free if he’s deployed.
Moving costs are paid for – and if you do a partial dity(do it yourself) you make money. Insurance is free (medical), the life insurance for spouses is $ 7.00 for 100,000, life insurance for the children is free. Dental for spouse/family is 26.27 a month.
There is a housing allowance – it depends on where you are however.
He should be taking your concerns and speaking with you about them. Can you go to the recruiter’s office with him?
They don’t all lie – only some of them.
I’ve lived a ‘civilian life’ till I was 26. When I married my hubby who is military (he was in AIT when we married), it was a shock, however having lived both ways, I don’t want to go back to the other way.
You do NOT get more money for more kids by the way – it’s either housing allowance without dependents or with dependents.
The constant moving thing – he’s been in 10 yrs and we’ve moved once. Hubby told me they are trying to have everyone stay a little longer at their duty stations.
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#7 written by Larry R 1 year ago
Pay depends on rank and time in service. This information is publicly available. Ask the recruiter to show you how he is calculating this. He probably isn’t lying. Call him up, respectfully tell him your concerns and ask him to explain it all to you. I would be very suprised if he didn’t make an appointment and do that.
Same is true for the family allowance. It is all laid out in black and white, by regulation. If you have X number of kids and Y rank then you get Z $ in housing allowance by military regulation, though this is adjusted for the area you live in. (For example if you are sent to San Francisco you get a higher housing allowance because it costs more to live there. This is one of the reasons that 13 major bases closed in the San Francisco Area over the past 20 or 30 years. The Army can have two Captians working in San Antonio for the cost of one Captian in San Francisco.) The recruiter probably isn’t lying here. Ask him to show you how it works. He should be able to do so.
The medical he is NOT lying about. I’m not the biggest fan of military medical care, it is a bureaucracy and sometimes when you go to a civilian hosptial (instead of a military one) the insurance pays slow, but it is FREE. I’ve walked out of clinics with expensive perscriptions at no charge on many occasions. A good friend of mine just had two kids November. The twins were born premature, and spent six weeks in the Neo-natal ICU. Mom had a cesarian, spent some time in the hospital as well. Because the kids are only 5 1/2 lbs they get special immuno-protien shots to protect them from the common cold (I didn’t even know these things existed, my buddy tells me they come from blood protiens and run $ 2000 a pop). Total cost, ZERO dolars. Heck my own daughter was born that way.
The college plan is no lie. Because I was called up in 03 I have three years of tuition paid for if I want to go back to school. I would rather have had the student loans I already had paid off, but the regulations don’t work that way. In any case the education benefits are really good. Lots of guys do distance education while they are in. The Air Force guys (and gals) that sit in the missle silos under North Dakota all day with the launch keys round their necks…they are all working on their masters degrees while they are down in the hole all day.
Yes moving costs are paid for. There are limits, but moving costs are paid for.
The pay is only tax free when you are in the Combat Zone. Note that Combat Zone does not mean getting shot at, it means you were within the geographic area of the Combat Zone for one day of the month. (People have been known to schedule trips to the area over the change of the months for that reason. Fly in on the 28th, fly out on the 2nd, two months pay tax free.) Even if you are a cook on an Aircraft Carrier and the most dangerious thing you ever do is make ruben sandwiches for the pilots, if you are in the Persain Gulf Combat Zone area you too get tax free pay for being in the combat zone. This can be a sweet deal if you REENLIST while in the combat zone, because your reenlistment bonus (often several thousand dollars) can be tax free.
I have to give your recrutier points for one thing, he is pushing your hubby towards Active Duty. These days there isn’t that big a difference between the two, what with the reserves being called up more often and for longer and longer periods. As long as you are going in you might as well do it right and go active duty. It is much easier to get particular training and particular jobs on the active duty side of the house.
You need you to ask yourself some questions though. Why are you angry about this? You say you resent not being given a say, and I respect you for your honesty. This is a big deal for BOTH of you, and you have a right to have a say. Now having a say and getting your own way are two very different things (trust me, I’m married and know that all too well) but you should have a TALK (one that does not involve name calling and yelling, but does involve listening) about this. It’s going to be a big deal for you too. You have a right to be heard.
Sounds to me like you are being pushed by hubby into a major life change, and I can totally understand why you would not like that. Nobody likes being pushed. I react quite badly to that myself.
That being said, don’t let your resentment over how you and your husband are interacting spill over into your relationship with the Army. I say relationship with the Army, because it will be a relationship. As the wife of a firefighter you probably allready know what I mean… you didn’t marry a firefigher you married the fire department… the Army is a lot like that too.
Thing is, lots of the people in the military are divorced or getting divorced because of the stress the war puts on marriages. Lots of guys are 3 for 7, or 1 for 4 when it comes to being home on the kids birthdays. That can get stressful. Also people change in the Army. (Not just cuse of the Army either, if you went away to college for 18 months you change there too, but being off in a foriegn country where people want to kill you… that can be a significant emotional event in someones life as well.) In any case, if you go into this with a lot of anger and resentment about it he will wind up staying in and you will be coming out early as an ex-wife. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen more than once.
If you don’t want that to happen to you, have a quite talk about this, and ask to see the recruter WITH hubby so you can get your info from him in person.
Good luck and God bless.
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#8 written by Mr. Howie 1 year ago
Tell THAT SELFISH BASTARD THAT IF HE JOINS THE MILITARY YOU WILL DIVORCE HIM
THAT DECISION IS JOINT NOT SEPARATE
He violated your marriage contract. Why does he want to become a murderer and hang out with a bunch of guys when he has children to raise?Leave that idiot if he even thinks about it. Money?
you will be on food stamps soon enough
36 years old and lose that fireman’s pension?
hes got to be nuts! -
#9 written by Yak Rider 1 year ago
Yes, moving costs are paid up to the weight limit for his rank. Anything more and it’s up to you to pay. His weight limits are going to be low for years until he makes rank.
Pay is tax free as long as he’s in a combat zone, otherwise it’s just like anyone else.
Insurance is free, but you have to understand the base clinic is not what you’re used to as a civilian.
Personally, at his age, married with a family, I think he’s insane.
You should have a say in this too. After all, you’re going to be the one home alone for months on end while he’s deployed or out in the field doing training. I consulted my wife on every move we made. If she wasn’t onboard we didn’t do it. Period.
Finally, and this is important, anything that’s not written on his enlistment contract, in plain English, is pure…. well it’s the stuff that drops out of the southern end of a bull facing due north.
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#10 written by recon1223 1 year ago
Actually most of the stuff is true with exception that our wages are taxed while we are at home. Moving costs are paid for as well as your families health care, that’s true. The housing allowance is also correct and the term is BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing). If he lives off Base he will also receive BAS (Basic allowance for Sustenance). The pay seems about right for a private to. I’m not sure on the the education side of it because medical is not my job field. HOWEVER, all of the aforementioned subjects are only applicable if he is active duty. I also think that it is wrong that your husband is not giving you a say in this. When someone joins the army, so does their family. A different lifestyle for everybody. Anyway hope I helped!
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#11 written by Karen 1 year ago
Recruiters always lie. First off usually a recruiter cannot guarentee what job you will get in the regular Army or any other branch. They can tell you a general field… and sometimes that changes too. Has he already been to basic training in some manner that it would be waived? At 36 that would be VERY DIFFICULT for most people. Good luck and hope it all works out for you hon.
As you have been told.. MAKE SURE it is in writing for all this stuff… if they won’t do it, it ain’t happening. :)
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#12 written by Tony 1 year ago
As a former vet I can tell you a recruiter will tell you anything to get you to enlist. He’ll promise you the world and once your signed up he’ll treat you like he doesn’t know you. Call his bluff and demand that everything he tells you is put into writing. If he say’s he can’t, we’ll then you know why.
I loved the Army while I served (87-91)and I am not trying to discourage you ( or your spouse) from making this decision. I am simply warning you to never trust a recruiter.As we use to say, How can you tell if a recruiters lying?…………..
His lips are moving!Good luck in whatever you choose
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#13 written by Jonathan S 1 year ago
well MEPS is the last stage to signing up, so maybe its too late already?!?….and for someone who is not told much you know a lot. I’m actually wondering if this isn’t actually a recruiting sheme set up by the army. If he goes reserves it’s pretty much active duty with all the troop shortages. The allowances sound about right, and you don’t pay taxes only when serving overseas. I personally hate the military now that I got all I could from it, and its really tuff on family’s. I don’t know anything about the degree, sounds a little fishy. Good luck
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#14 written by Lake Lover 1 year ago
What if he’s sent overseas – then what about your “stability,” and pursuit of your education. I think you have a lot to think about. He’s going to have many stresses placed upon him if he enlists now and it will have an impact on your family.
That being said —- I totally respect every single service-person in our nation! They are doing an incredibly difficult job!
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#15 written by Uncle John 1 year ago
The Army does have good deals, and can provide a good source of support for a lot of education.
If you live through the term of your enlistment.
President Bush is sending a whole lot more troops into battle zones – and your husband is a trained firefighter and a medic. Do you think he is going to end up in North Carolina?
If he is willing to go to Iraq, in a current system where enlistments and periods of service in hostile areas are being extended wholesale – he will get a lot of benefits. But that’s the trade off – I would think it very likely he is going into the war zone.
If he – and you – do it with your eyes open, that’s one thing. But make sure you read carefully everything you are asked to sign, and if you want to take it away for a day and get more advice, have others look at it, think about it – that is absolutely your right, and you should NOT let a recuiter pressure you.
Postponing signing up can be a nuisance. Dying is permanent.
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#16 written by healthiacynthia 1 year ago
Before he enlists, have him watch this:
http://www.beforeyouenlist.org/ -
#18 written by corvuequis 1 year ago
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#20 written by mustangsally76 1 year ago
The wages he earns are NOT tax-free, his wages are tax-free if he is deployed to a combat zone (like Iraq, Afghanistan). We still pay federal and state taxes. Medical insurance is FREE for him and the family. And it’s damn good too. Dental insurance is extra but it’s only about $ 20 a month for the family. He will get BAH if you decide not to live in base housing. depending on his rank and the number of dependants it can be more than $ 1000 a month. $ 1450 a month sounds just about right for his pay per month. I wonder about the degree thouhg. I’ve never met anyone Active Duty that finished an associates degree in less than 4 years. You have to take the classes on your own time, and when you are working all the time, it gets hard. but in the new age of on-line classess, I suppose anything is possible. Honestly, sounds like the recruiter is right on (except for the tax-free thing)
The life is good if you can deal with the constant deployments and the constant moving. i love it! We are Air Force not Army but we are all the same!
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Things I didn’t anticipate: There’s a lot of down time — lots of hurry up and wait. At least outside of combat zones – and perhaps in: there’s lots of time spent cleaning bathrooms and doing preventive maintence checks on Hummers (checking fluid levels, washing them, etc). (Oh yeah – and in the combat zone, there’s the ever so fun duty of burning feces — yes thats right — you dump diesel and gasoline into a vat with the feces and burn it – stirring it every so often to make sure it all burns!!!) On the plus side, he’ll make friends from every walk of life who quickly become like family, toughen up, be healthier than ever (unless wounded of course), and have some great adventures.
I was in Desert Storm — never saw combat first hand — and still was profoundly effected by the experience of having to get myself mentally prepared to kill people. I can’t even begin to imagine what happens to people who actually do have to.
A lesson learned — when I joined I talked to about four or five different Army recruiters – from different offices – and got different stories from each. I went with the guy who was telling me all the bad stuff about the Army along with the good. I really didn’t understand what it meant to be stuck in the motor pool, but he did try and warn me, and he was right (and I was MI – sounded pretty cool — close to the PsyOps thing your husband is looking at — it actually was pretty nice but still lots of sitting around doing nothing!) My recruiter also warned me to read the contract and make sure it said what I wanted it to — and he warned me that they would try and get me into some crappy understaffed MOS at the MEPS and he was right about that too —- when joining you have to be firm and only sign if you’re getting what you want. Think of it as your first test — if you won’t stand up to some desk jockey at the MEPS station what kind of soldier will you be???
Good luck to you and your husband. Its a tough decision, theres good and bad, but marriage is about doing things together — every military spouse will tell you that they too become part of the experience.