Posts tagged Daughter

Question: I don’t think my daughter should be allowed to travel abroad to stay with a boyfriend?
hi…thank you in advance for your replies….I have a 20 year old daughter that met a boy 3 years ago while on a summer vacation on an island close to home (we live in the states). He was here working for the summer only, and was to return to Europe when the summer ended, which he did. Anyway, fast forward 3 years, they are still “in a relationship” long distance, via web cam, and telephone. Personally, I think it is a silly situation, as he is unable to move here, and she is unable to move there. She did go visit him last Christmas against my wishes, but I trust her, and she really made me feel secure that she would be ok..after all, she was over 18….I know now that it was a mistake to let her go. I have nothing against her boyfriend…he is a very nice guy, it’s just that he’s too far away for anything to develop, and she cannot expect to travel overseas every christmas.
I should not have let her go in the first place, as I have set a very bad precedent. Now I don’t want her to go this second time. She is still living at home, is a student, and works part time….she doesn’t spend any of her money to help with her expenses, such as her car payment, insurance, health insurance, or living expenses….she saves every penny for her yearly trip to europe. I think she should be saving for school and her future….what do you all think? I know I am going to get a lot of slack from posters regarding her trip last year, but we have a very understanding and close relationship..I do trust her completely, it’s just the rest of the world that I don’t trust. I want her to expand her options, and try to date someone who lives locally, so that she can enjoy her youth, and share experiences with someone all the time, not just 2 weeks a year. She stays home when she’s not at school or work, and has no social life….she’s a smart, funny, and beautiful young woman, and I feel as though she is selling herself short…..would you all let your 20 year old travel to Europe alone to stay with a boy?
health insurance for overseas travel

Best answer:

Answer by Who Me
She is 20 years old. She’s not 2. She’s an adult and if you raised her properly, she should be capable of making important decisions like this on her own. I know that’s hard to do. To let her spread her wings and fly. But trust her. Trust yourself. Did you raise her right? Did you train her right? If so, you have nothing to worry about. It’s not about what you will let her do. She’s not a minor anymore. She’s legally allowed to make choices like this on her own. You can talk to her. You can counsel her. You can be her friend. But let her make some choices on her own. If it backfires, so be it. She’ll have to learn from her mistakes. Just like you did and just like I did. That’s a part of being a young adult.